A Tribute to Fathers

The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane,WA  by Mrs. John B. Dodd who wanted to honor her father, a Civil War veteran.  In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a  day to honor fathers. It wasn’t until 1966 when President Lyndon B Johnson signed a proclamation dictating that the 3rd Sunday of June would be set aside to honor all fathers.

Each family celebrates it differently.  Some families attend church services together followed by a meal, breakfast or for services that run a little later, a special dinner out or a home cooked meal. Some love to grill, others like to camp.  No matter how  you spent your day today I hope you spent it with your father if you live in the same town.  If your Dad is across the country I hope you called him.   Today I went to visit my father at one of the oldest cemeteries in my hometown.  He died three years ago.   I brought red, white and blue carnations and a small flag.  I placed in a vase next to the stone.   A week earlier I forgot he was gone.  I was setting aside cards and presents and panic set in when I felt I was one short.  I paused for a moment and realized that I had no present because Dad already had the best one; he was in heaven with his father, mother, brother and sister and his creator.  It doesn’t happen every year but it did this year.  Mom and I think it’s wishful thinking, wishing that we could turn back time.   I stood at the grave quietly and said a silent prayer as my family shared the moment with me.  My husband took a picture of me with the flowers, I couldn’t look up , the tears were pooling in my eyes.  ” I can’t smile honey, I have nothing to smile about.”   I realized immediately after it slipped out that it wasn’t true.   I miss my Dad, even with his quirks.  I have lots to smile about.  There were three reasons standing beside me; my husband who is a wonderful father to our children, our two healthy teens who sometimes drive us crazy but we love them no matter what. We remind them it’s the actions that we don’t like, not the person. They are great kids.  I blessed to have two older brothers who are both Dads and great ones.  They both have the challenge when they travel for work of staying grounded with their families, connected to their kids.  I don’t know how they do it.  One of my brothers has a bumper sticker that says it all.  ” Don’t let your kid be the one that gets away.”    A fishing analogy.   A strong reminder to us all that nothing is more important than your family, not your job.  There needs to be a balance between the two.  Technology needs to take a backseat.  Unless it’s an emergency we don’t need to text someone back or answer an e mail or pick up our cell phone.  When our spouse or our kids are telling us something that is important to them , we need to be active listeners, we need eye contact and empathy.  If we want our kids to respect us and mirror us we need to set an example.

Father’s Day is just one day to celebrate our fathers, brothers, brother-in-laws, grandfathers and uncles.  We have a chance every day to honor them, why wait for a once a year event?

Every year we spend time with our fathers, those that are still with us. We remember our fathers who are no longer with us.  Today I celebrated the day by remembering a special memory I have of my Dad.   I was in high school, after completing my freshman year we planned a trip to the west coast.  My Dad came to me three weeks before we left.  He asked me if I wanted to learn to use his camera.  Now his camera was not just any old camera, it was a camera he bought it when he was serving in the military in Germany during World War II.   It was special.   I eagerly said yes.  My Dad worked patiently with me on how to use the light meter and how to set the camera.   Vacation time came and he handed me the camera and let me take all the pictures. I tried to give it back because my Dad was much then I was.  He said no and trusted me completely.  When the film was developed it wasn’t that bad.  I took an awesome picture of a cow in the middle of the highway in Nebraska.  Several of them.

It seems ironic that I would marry a man who is a photographer.  I see the world through his eyes.   I am more observant , more patient.  To take pictures you have to be.

I hope my husband had a good day.  Lasagna is in the oven bubbling away for dinner. We went to church with his father and mother and had breakfast with them and some friends of theirs at one of their favorite restaurants. We visited the cemetery.  We celebrated my niece’s high school graduation.  She has guts and grit and knows what she wants.  She completed a nine week program in logistics at the arsenal.  Her father, my oldest brother could not have been prouder. He had the privilege of hearing her give her presentation which was part of completing the program.  His little girl has grown up.  His son helps manage one of the finest eateries in Blue Grass and still has time to train for a competition in August.  My brother spent his vacation week training with him and getting ready for his daughter’s party. Now that’s dedication.

I got to see both my brothers today.  When they speak of their families and how proud they are of their kids they don’t seem to take any credit for their successes.  Fathers aren’t looking for accolades, they love their kids and want what’s best for them.  I am grateful that my brothers value their families and being with them. Now more than ever this is needed in our world.

My brother-in-laws possess the same dedication to their families too. One who is quiet but has a clever sense of humor and loves to tease. Both he and his brother share the gift of working with their hands, one with wood and cars and the other with plants and wood.   They visualize an idea and make it a reality.  Could I be that lucky?  Not my talent but thankfully my husband has the knack or we would be in sorry shape.

Next week we will be heading out to the west coast to see my sister and her husband.  He has three children by a previous marriage, his dedication to all three is heart-felt. He works with children at a local school in a program that encourages that kids to read.

The last of my brother-in-laws resides in Texas with my youngest sister and their teenage daughter who is in Europe through a special ambassador program called People to People.  I know she is missing her Daddy in a big way today. He is a pastor for a church in Cedar Park, Texas.  He has been another blessing in my life.  I heard him preach for the first time in person when we visited over spring break. I was blinking back the tears. God could not have chosen a better shepherd for this flock.  He is gifted with speech and the written word. He reaches out to those who have strayed, not to beat them with a Bible but to listen. Kind , caring, empathic.  As a father he practices the same compassion.

I miss my Dad.

I do have a Dad here on earth.  My father in law has always treated me like his own.  He accepts me with all my quirks.  Thanks Denny for being there for me.  Happy Father’s Day everyone! Thank you for accepting this very special ministry.  We are called to be parents.  It is the most challenging yet the most rewarding job there is. Embrace it and embrace your children and your spouse; let them know they are loved, allow them to be who they are and most of all listen to what’s in their heart,they have much to say and my hope is that we lend an ear.

Advertisement